Nolan Takes Awkward Pictures with Churches

Last Updated: August 30, 2016

As you may know, I am a baptized Roman Catholic. As such, while studying abroad, it was my spiritual obligation to visit every ornate cathedral in Europe. And to take awkward pictures with all of them.

Thus, I present the special, high definition gallery: Nolan Takes Awkward Pictures with Churches.

Cathedral of Segovia

SEGOVIA, SPAIN

January 15, 2016

Her full name is the Holy Cathedral-Church of Our Mother of the Assumption and of St. Fructus of Segovia, built in the sixteenth century in Gothic style. I couldn’t go inside.

But look at that awkward kid in front of her (with John and Erin).

Cathedral of Granada

GRANADA, SPAIN

January 29, 2016

Although crowded tightly between shops, the Holy Metropolitan Cathedral-Church of the Incarnation of Granada couldn’t escape me. She’s a Renaissance masterpiece.

I snagged an awful selfie with her too.

(That’s Mackenzie.)

Cathedral of Valencia

VALENCIA, SPAIN

February 13, 2016

Waiting to get this picture from a friend...

Cathedral of Toledo

TOLEDO, SPAIN

February 26, 2016

The Primate Cathedral of St. Mary of Toledo, considered the magnum opus of Spanish Gothic cathedrals, looks like she’s tumbling over in this picture. (But don’t worry. She’s not.)

Look! There I am!

Monastery of St. John

TOLEDO, SPAIN

February 26, 2016

The Monastery of St. John of the Kings was built, in Gothic style, to rival Toledo’s own cathedral as the city’s grandest church. If you ask me, though, it’s not close.

Also not close: my attempts to be photogenic.

Cathedral of Bilbao

BILBAO, SPAIN

February 27, 2016

Amidst heavy rains and monsoon winds, I bravely fought the elements to enter the Cathedral-Basilica of St. James the Great, then promptly scurried out as Mass was starting.

Look at me, pretending to blow away.

Cathedral of San Sebastián

SAN SEBASTIÁN, SPAIN

February 28, 2016

The Cathedral of the Good Shepherd of San Sebastián is uncomfortably new, younger than most of its counterparts by over a half millennium. But we love younger siblings just the same.

Who’s that cool cat in front?

Notre-Dame Cathedral

PARIS, FRANCE

Week of March 18, 2016

Likely the most renowned cathedral in the world, Notre-Dame of Paris stands as a Gothic warning of man’s mortality, relative unimportance, and powerlessness before the might of God. Heavy stuff.

I wonder if something could forewarn my awkwardness like that...

Sainte-Chapelle

PARIS, FRANCE

March 19, 2016

Once the French king’s personal worship space, this thirteenth-century Gothic “Holy Chapel” contains floor-to-ceiling, every-wall exquisite stained glass. The colors are enchanting.

Catholicism has that effect.

Cathedral of Sevilla

SEVILLA, SPAIN

Week of March 23, 2016

Cathedral of St. Mary of the See is the largest Gothic cathedral in the world. And oh my, she is fantastically ugly. But I went to two masses there, including the Easter Vigil, and was moved to tears.

Apparently I was distracted in this photo.

La Mezquita-Cathedral of Córdoba

CÓRDOBA, SPAIN

March 26, 2016

The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Assumption was, before the Spanish Reconquest, a Muslim mosque. As you can tell, the Catholics converted it in function but never fully in style.

So, too, are my church pictures stylistically awkward.

Basilica of El Escorial

SAN LORENZO DEL ESCORIAL, SPAIN

April 17, 2016

El Escorial was the palace of King Phillip II, where he commanded Spain’s empire and headed its anti-Protestant efforts. It famously houses the remains of the royal family for generations.

Also buried there: my dignity.

Valle de los Caídos

SAN LORENZO DEL ESCORIAL, SPAIN

April 17, 2016

I’m going to break tone here.

Valley of the Fallen is the memorial for Spain’s dictator, Francisco Franco (d. 1975), who is buried there. Built by political prisoners, with its bunker-like atmosphere and plaques celebrating the victors of the Civil War, it stirred anger and unease inside me like no other church I visited. Although I entered smiling, I did not leave that way.

The Catholic Church’s relationship with democracy has, throughout the modern era, been tentative. The Church initially supported Franco’s dictatorship because he provided it legal protections. After Vatican II, and Franco’s death, it welcomed democracy in Spain. In Latin America, however, it has supported both regime types, simultaneously.

Regardless of Church doctrine, or its political interpretations, the legitimization of regimes that degrade, repress, disappear, or murder its citizens is, in any context, unacceptable. And only in visiting this particular basilica did I come to appreciate the gravity of the Church’s political influence — on nations, on conflicts, and on lives.

Cathedral of Lisbon

LISBON, PORTUGAL

April 23, 2016

The Patriarchal Cathedral of St. Mary Major has a reputation for being, among Europe’s cathedrals, rather underwhelming in grandeur. But she didn’t underwhelm me.

I found a barrier on which to stand.

Monastery of Jerónimos

LISBON, PORTUGAL

April 23, 2016

Funded by a royal tax on African and Asian imperial trade, the Monastery of Jerónimos exemplifies the Manueline style, or Portuguese late Gothic. The style, itself, drew on Eastern influences.

But in this picture, I look west.

Sistine Chapel

VATICAN CITY STATE

May 13, 2016

The Sistine Chapel requires no commentary. I will only add that the adjoining picture is the ceiling from a leading hallway. And that is Austin.

St. Peter’s Basilica

VATICAN CITY STATE

May 13, 2016

The queen of all Catholic churches, the Papal Basilica of St. Peter in the Vatican is as massive and breathtaking as religiously important. And it has Michelangelo’s Pietà.

Although touristy, it left me speechless.

Cathedral of Rome

ROME, ITALY

May 16, 2016

The Papal Archbasilica of St. John in Lateran claims the title of oldest church in the West. That said, its reconstruction spanned several centuries.

What an obelisk! And what a selfie!

Bonus:
Scala Santa

ROME, ITALY

May 16, 2016

Across the street from Lateran Basilica, the Holy Steps are, supposedly, the transposed steps from Pontius Pilate’s praetorium, on which Jesus walked in his trial. Many Catholics go to climb them, too.

I did not.

Pantheon

ROME, ITALY

May 16, 2016

This one is cheating: It’s the Roman Pantheon, built for their many (I’m obligated to say) unreal gods. But the Catholics co-opted it as a Cardinal-Deaconry, so it technically counts.

As the saying goes, when in Rome, misappropriate another culture.

St. Ignatius Church

ROME, ITALY

May 16, 2016

The Church of St. Ignatius of Loyola at Campus Martius, now under a cardinal, was originally the chapel for the first Jesuit University. Until the university moved.

But its Baroque style remains magnificent.

Sagrada Familia

BARCELONA, SPAIN

May 24, 2016

Still under the construction, the Basilica and Expiatory Church of the Holy Family is Antoni Gaudí’s greatest work. Its design mimics nature, like its forest-inspired ceiling.

My pose mimics something natural, too.

Cathedral of Barcelona

BARCELONA, SPAIN

May 24, 2016

The Cathedral of the Holy Cross and St. Eulalia is dedicated to Barcelona’s patron saint, who was stripped naked by the Romans then killed in a barrel of knives.

Anyway, I went on the roof!

This gallery is dedicated to Mr. Szatkowski, my high school European history teacher. In his class, we learned about Renaissance art, the French banana craze (not real, I later learned), and Catholic cathedrals. I owe my appreciation for Western history to him.

Mr. Szat, this is for you: A grand tour of Europe’s cathedrals.